on solo female travel, Crystal Island, and your witchy writer friend's experiences in southeast Asia
yes, we can have nice things // 09
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Hi friends!
Where do I even begin? The past few weeks have been chaotic, thrilling, hectic and at times stressful, eye-opening, expansive, and inspiring above all else. I am currently living out the adventure my Sagittarius moon and I have always dreamed of—with itchy feet and a soul that’s lost some of its restlessness, but still loves to roam. It’s one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done for myself.
There’s just something about feeling completely anonymous in a foreign country, isn’t there? A gorgeous rush: No one knows who you are. No one knows your name. You can strike up a conversation with anyone, meet anyone, take your time or schedule a packed itinerary if that’s your thing. Not to get too into the nitty gritty here, but I’m no type A person, a la an itinerary, though I do like enjoying a loose framework when it comes to sightseeing; I have a few things in mind that I’d like to achieve every day, and I’ve been booking activities, accommodations, and flights every few days. I have never traveled like this before. It’s unbelievably freeing.
In fact, I can feel my entire relationship with “doing” shifting, and I know this will continue; the being-too-much-in-my-masculine feeling of constantly needing to achieve, and go, and cross things off my to-do list is changing. Or I am. More likely it’s both.
Lots more thoughts on my solo travel experiences to come. My trajectory, for those interested, has been Japan → Vietnam → Bali → Thailand, where I wrote the bulk of this edition of Cosmic Kudos at the airport in Ko Samui, as I waited to board my flight to Bangkok.
As you can imagine, plenty of travel-related nice things ahead.
And if you’re new here, nice things is a weekly(ish; these days I’m still adjusting to my new schedule) edition of Cosmic Kudos where I curate a “running list” of reasons why humans can have nice things. This is a space of both positivity and reframing “things” that may not at first seem positive; it features poems, stories, art, podcast episodes, articles or (good) news items, ritual practices, signs from the Universe, submissions from readers, and more!
1. Ubud illuminated for me precisely why people fall head over heels for Bali, upend their lives, and move there to live a breezy and chilled existence. (Not sure I could ever be described as leading a breezy and chilled existence, but it certainly sounds appealing.)
2. Two words: Bali. Swing.
There are swings everywhere you go in Bali, and it’s just all-around cute. I know that this kind of thing is egregiously touristy but at the same time it was pure unadulterated fun. I’m talking serious bliss on the swing, lovelies. I have zero regrets.
Maybe one regret: I did not spend nearly enough time there—three days in Bali! What was I thinking! Actually, I’ll tell you what I was thinking: Thailand was waiting, and between all the ferries, speedboats, longtail boats, shuttles, and other modes of transportation I’d need to properly island hop, I wanted to carve out more time for logistics. (Not type A, but the details get me…)
And, you know, lazy beach moments.
3. Thailand is breathtaking, wild, and intense. Its beauty is so surreal that it’s hard to believe it’s a real place. And I will say that it’s stunning and serene, but not for the faint of heart. For full transparency’s sake, it’s the first place I’ve visited where I felt myself genuinely agreeing with those who call solo travelers “brave.”
That’s because it is brave to come here, to make the various treks out to different islands, as well as to subject yourself to potentially being scammed or taken advantage of simply because you are on your own. There are varying levels of accessibility when traveling between islands (as I wrote above, most places you’ll want to go, you’ll need to take taxi to pier to ferry and/or speedboat, etc.), and I realize that I’m coming from a position of privilege, but at the same time, it’s something of which you should be aware if, like me, you just assumed it would be easy and cheap to get around—as it is throughout southeast Asia.
During the off season at least, you’ll have to pay up twice the amount as anyone else simply because you’re alone. If you’re unable to wait for other people to join your longtail boat, for example, because you need to get where you’re going, you’re a bit SOL.
All this to say, it’s absolutely been worthwhile, if only to prove to myself that I could do it. Alll of it: the good, the bad, and the buggy (and there are a lot of those). Lessons learned, and sometimes expectations must be measured. And of course, that’s not the only reason it’s been worthwhile—but definitely something to bear in mind if you’re plotting out a similar course for solo travel.
4. Speaking of what else has made it worthwhile:
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Sometimes visiting a high-tourism country during the off season does work out for the better—like when you book a morning tour at the elephant sanctuary in Krabi that no one else has signed up for, essentially making it a private tour. Seriously, this was the best day ever.
5. Oh, and I went to an introductory “learn to DJ” workshop in the jungle on Koh Pha-ngan (the island most famous for its full moon parties), so there’s that. And it was excellent! Something I’ve always wanted to learn to do. Plus, this was another tour that only I had signed up for, making it feel more like a private lesson than a workshop—lots of time for me to play.
6. My instructor, whose DJ name was at one point Bruce Danger (an icon and a legend), told me that Koh Pha-ngan is actually “the Crystal Island”, because it’s said to be formed on a large chunk of rose quartz crystal. Can you believe it? It’s known as the heart chakra of the world and holy shit he had me at made of crystals. Planet earth is so fucking cool.
7. My utmost favorite thing about traveling solo has got to be the amazing people I’ve met so far. Shoutout to my new friends from South Africa, Sam and Lars, whom I met and enjoyed some really lovely times with on Railay Beach. Thanks for reading and following along with my journey 👋🏼
8. In non–travel related news, I’ve just finished Julia Bartz’s The Writing Retreat, which I listened to on audiobook via my beloved Libby app. Thanks to my friend Ali Vingiano for the reco, who shared it on her Substack,
. This is a thoroughly weird and completely engrossing book that I absolutely zoomed through. Good stuff!9. And now, my current beach read is Miranda Cowley Heller’s The Paper Palace. I picked it up with zero expectations at the airport in Bali, and simply can’t put it down! Don’t you just love when that happens?
10. Beef on Netflix has proven the perfect binge fodder for the many flights I’ve been boarding. The cast is so, so good, and they are given so much of what’s usually considered “emotionally taboo” to work with, which I love. And you all know I love me an unlikable female protagonist. Ali Wong is at her vengeful platinum blonde best in this.
11. I enjoyed this conversation between Rachelle Hampton of Slate-hosted podcast ICYMI (In Case You Missed It) and
, otherwise known as the Internet’s princess. What I found most engrossing was the frank discussion of what Rayne deems as the reason women dominate and are able to find success as influencers online; we are accustomed to constantly finding ways to commodify ourselves. Points are made. A v interesting convo.12. I’m so happy that I got Reiki Level II certified. And still pinching myself, weeks later, that I got the chance to do it in Tokyo, no less. It’s already deepened my spiritual practice so much, and I can’t wait to see where it takes me.
13. Last up, your witch tip of the week:
Sending love and big hugs from Bangkok!
xx
Kimia
Your travels sound absolutely amazing! Can’t wait to hear more about them in Greece. Glad you liked the audiobook, too!
Love to read about your travels and all the wonderful lessons along the way.